I've been dreaming of things yet to come. Living, learning, watching, burning, eyes on the sun.

Ok, I decided to write this post in English since I know many people who are interested to read about my weekend but don't know a single word in Finnish.

On Friday I took a bus to Helsinki around noon, met my friend and we checked us into our hotel. We waited a couple of hours until all the rest of our friends arrived too and divided into two groups. I and my three best friends headed to Vapiano to have a dinner. We went back to our hotel room around 6pm, had some rose wine, put more makeup on and went to Espoo to see the Finnish music awards, Emma Gaala. After watching many awards held in the US that tiny little event here felt a bit pathetic but it was fun to spend time together with my friends. And of course the most awesome thing was to see Jared and Shannon Leto presenting the best band of the year. Although it was only a short moment. When the gala was over we took a bus back to Helsinki, 4 of our friends got ready and went to queue for the show. I and my one friend had meet & greet and other stuff so we got to enjoy a good night's rest (unfortunately for me it was only trying).

The next morning we woke up around 7, had a breakfast and got ready for the big day. We left our hotel before 11am, bought some snacks and headed to the movie theater Maxim where Thirty Seconds To Mars' Artifact documentary's screening was held. For those who don't know, we got to see the documentary, had a little questions+answers session with Jared Leto and got pics with him. We queued for a little while until got to check us in (both for the Artifact and the m&g that was held later), grabbed some popcorn and drinks. A bigger screen totally made a difference as we were told before the screening. I had seen the documentary a couple of times before but it had been around 3 months since the last time. I learnt many new things about Artifact this time and it opened my eyes even more about how rude music industry can be and how the $30 million lawsuit really affected on the band.

The q+a was really interesting, we got to ask questions about the documentary and it was really nice to see how excited Jared was about the whole thing. He explained a lot of things, gave us some inspiring words and just chatted casually with us. It didn't feel like we were there with a famous celebrity but a "friend" and it made me feel quite comfortable during the whole time. It was funny when he told that there aren't that many record stores left and that people buys their albums at Walmart etc because I realized that I had bought my second copy of Mars' latest album, Love Lust Faith + Dreams, there. I didn't ask anything since I couldn't came up with any good questions. Well, I had one but when he asked "who REALLY has a good question?" a couple of times I started doubting mine and slowly lowered my hand every time he asked that, haha. Jared also sang a few lines of A Modern Myth, goofed around a little every now and then and was being the adorable himself as always. After the questions we lined up for the photo shoot and right now I'm so scared how my photo turned out to be. The photographer was so close that I'm not surprised if you'd be able to count my eyelashes in the pic :D I just hope I won't look as horrid as in the pic from my meet&greet in Camden. But at least the photographer complimented our pic, so I think that could be a good sign. Hopefully. Once the q+a and photo shoot were over (they took around an hour) we got our signed copies of the documentary and rushed to the nearest bathroom to change our clothes.

We arrived to Hartwall Areena after 4pm and holy cow there were shitloads of people waiting for the meeting. I knew there would be a lot of people since the band is pretty famous here (and because Russia is next to Finland and people from there usually comes here to events like that) but I was still so surprised. Someone said there were around 100 people but I highly doubt that, there must have been more of us. We got some ugly VIP merch but at least I got to buy a new shirt from the merch stand. At least I have those nice totes etc from the m&gs last year. I have no idea how long we waited until we were lead to the pit downstairs where the m&g session was held but oh boy it was crazy. Some people really seemed to think they'd miss the whole thing if they didn't rush and push so much. 

Jared and Tomo came in first. Jared was talking about taking Shannon to an ice hotel and/or North Pole for his birthday on Sunday. Then Shannon came in and we were singing the birthday song in Finnish to him. The q+a was really great, the guys were in a good mood and was talking a lot. I was standing behind some people but somehow Shannon picked me to ask my question which I'm so glad about since there were many others who were rising their hands. I asked them about the upcoming tour in the US with Linkin Park. Of course Jared didn't get my question (Who came up with the idea of Carnivores Tour?) first so I had to explain it again and then he got it. He thought I meant the name of the tour although I was meaning who's idea it was to tour together, their or Linkin Park's. Apparently it was Linkin Park who thought about it first. Then we were talking about which show we'd want to get streamed on VyRT so everyone could see it online and many thought that Hollywood Bowl would be cool, just like last fall. The guys answered quite many questions which was nice since the whole session lasted longer. In the end Jared grabbed his guitar and played Save Me. All of us were singing with him and Tomo was taking a video of it.

Then we lined up for the signing and photo shoot. I got the autographs to a book my friend made me before I left for New Jersey last July. The whole signing thing kinda "failed" a bit for me (not too badly though) so I got to explain the book only to Shannon who thought it was really nice of my friend etc. But the total epic fail was the picture and I am so afraid to see it :D So, if I won't post it anywhere, it probably turned out to be more horrible than the one in Camden. I really can't explain the moment but I know I kinda messed it up. Luckily I'll have a new chance to get a good pic next week in Tallinn!

After the m&g was over and the guys were gone, we got to run to the front. It was beyond insane, people were acting like animals or something. Nobody seemed to care whether others were hurt by their own acts. It was sad but I wasn't really surprised, more like pissed off and angry at some. People got crazy and many people fell, including me and my friend. Someone fell right in front of me and of course I fell when I tried not to run over her. I hit my knee and shoulder pretty bad and felt dizzy for a couple of minutes. We got into the first row with my friend after all which was nice. After only a short moment all the others, the regular ticket holders, were let inside the venue too and two of our friends ran to us. My dizziness fade away and I was feeling pretty good and super happy about the front row. I didn't have any pressure around me and everything felt good. 

Can't complain about my view before getting on stage :D

I think it was less than an hour until I started feeling pretty bad again, I leaned forward and took deep breaths in order to try to make me feel better. I heard the opening act to start and was thanking god the music was pretty relaxing. Then I realized I couldn't feel my legs anymore and started seeing black and white spots. I remember saying my friend that I'll probably have to leave soon and only a few seconds after I fainted. It felt weird and I remember thinking that wow this feels weird, where am I? Then I "woke up" and realized the security guys were trying to get me away from the audience. I hesitated for a short second until I realized that I can't be there. I was taken to the emergency room and started feeling good immediately after that. I was crying so bad because I lost the best goddamn spot of the venue since I was right next to the catwalk and in the first row. The women in the room were laughing at me when they asked if I was feeling ok and I answered: "No because I'm here and not in the front row anymore!" :D Priorities. I sat there for like 10 to 15 minutes, chatted with the women and we all agreed that the opening act was quite bad and then I decided I'm okay to go back.

I was so sad and mad at myself for letting the security guys get me away. I was looking forward to spend the show together with my best friends and knowing that I'd have to watch the show so far away from the stage was terrible. Luckily I found some nice Finnish people I knew and got to spend the show together with them. If any of you are reading this: THANK YOU! The show itself was amazing, a lot better than the one in Camden last September. I finally got to hear Bright Lights and the cover of Rihanna's Stay and my day was totally made. So beautiful, I probably would have cried if I hadn't wasted my tears and hour earlier. Also, during Closer To The Edge Jared switched the "NO NO NO NO" part into "MOI MOI MOI MOI" and suddenly the whole arena were singing moi moi moi moi! Awesomeness overload! Although the feeling wasn't as good as it would have been in the front I was still having the time of my life and enjoyed every little second of the 90 minutes! In the end I got on stage for the last song, Up In The Air, and I felt like the happiest person in this whole world! It was the perfect ending for the show. My best friend got on stage too and together we were jumping during the song like there's no tomorrow! It was amazing, nothing beats the feeling you have when you are blasting on stage in front of thousands of people together with friends, family and your favorite band. Simply nothing.

When the show was over we found out that one of our friends fainted too just in the end. The pressure in the front had been so horrible that she couldn't do anything and eventually things got so bad that she ended up to the same emergency room where I was. Things like this can happen at concerts but I still don't regret anything (and I bet that neither does my friend). I would do it all again, except that time I would glue myself to the barrier so that I couldn't leave the front row for any reason :D Right now I feel horrible since I'm sick and like 90% of my body hurts so much, especially my knee and shoulder. I'm just hoping to get better as soon as possible. There are only 9 days left until our little group will conquer Tallinn and 10 days until all of us will meet the band together and enjoy the show. This time I know not to set any expectations for anything but go there openminded and have the time of my life.

Ha, we were taking this pic until realized Shannon was also in it in the background!

All in all I had a great weekend that I will never, ever forget! There are some things I'd gladly change right away but I know everything happens for a reason. And I know I wouldn't have had a chance to get on stage if I had stayed in the front row. The reasons why I was sad about not staying there were that I got separated from my best friends and that I wasn't expecting not being there. I was just shocked because the thing I fear the most during concerts actually happened to me. But well, at least I now have experienced that too, hah. Maybe this didn't really sound that I had an incredible weekend with my friends and my favorite band but I must say I totally did. I just tried not to fangirl over things too much :D

Although I was feeling awful after the show I was still happy!
Ps. this Creeps shirt is my new favorite!!